Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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