it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
