Non-Jews are for practice
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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