Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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