Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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