so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
