Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
