She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
