So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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