At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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