I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
