Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
