I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
