How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
