I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
