you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
