DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
