Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
