What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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