I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize