I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
