Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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