She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
