i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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