Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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