I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
