So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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