Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
