I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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