i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
