I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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