So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
