pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
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Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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