That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
