So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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