Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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