Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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