Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I've blown a few things in my day
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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