Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
