The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
