then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
