Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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