I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
