Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
