Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up http://tfl.nu/fktn
  Replies (9) Good night (884) Bad night (2728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me". http://tfl.nu/jl9f
  Replies (210) Good night (31723) Bad night (2857)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?" http://tfl.nu/v4rw
  Replies (27) Good night (6446) Bad night (1988) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius. http://tfl.nu/w17t
  Replies (20) Good night (6104) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today. http://tfl.nu/ix6a
  Replies (44) Good night (6891) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again http://tfl.nu/8jzt
  Replies (16) Good night (4527) Bad night (1312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together... http://tfl.nu/duna
  Replies (76) Good night (2181) Bad night (6569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7. http://tfl.nu/xclk
  Replies (7) Good night (3114) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming. http://tfl.nu/eg1m
  Replies (6) Good night (3950) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me. (1-606): Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons. http://tfl.nu/drp9
  Replies (4) Good night (4090) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston http://tfl.nu/zjjv
  Replies (7) Good night (1045) Bad night (1767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes? http://tfl.nu/o98x
  Replies (9) Good night (5520) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette? http://tfl.nu/45gq
  Replies (17) Good night (1614) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone. http://tfl.nu/cis8
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed? http://tfl.nu/wl2q
  Replies (5) Good night (1107) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt

Randomize