i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Donâ€™t Know
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldnâ€™t Be In
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like