in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars