Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.