I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.