This is not my ceiling
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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