Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
