Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
