With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We just shotgunned beers for America
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I need to calm my uterus...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize