I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
