i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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