TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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