nut hugger
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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