it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
