I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
