Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
