Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
