Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
