babies were throwing up all over the place
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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