He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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