He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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