There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
