idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
