I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We just shotgunned beers for America
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
