I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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