I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
